Oh dear. Where do I begin? Is any one in possession of a time machine? If only we had selfies and screenshots way back when, it would be easier to explain.

The question every kid was asked by all and sundry was, ” What do you want to be when you grow up? The answers would vary from the coolest thing you had just seen someone on telly or in your family do a few days ago or in the past few minutes.

There are some who have stuck true to their declarations, but for most of us, we switched alliances faster than the current political trend.

I have danced the tango with various career options only to fall on the wayside, spent and without a clue what hit me.

bulls eye 1

Once upon a time, I was so sure I would be a zoologist after I saw a documentary on how intelligent and playful dolphins are. Secondly, came my desire to be a botanist as I saw the beauty and wonder of flora captured perfectly through a time-lapse camera.

Fast forward to high school and the Interior design bug bit me and I remember telling others about it and I had to explain why I wasn’t pursuing law like my late father or teaching like my beloved Mum. Well, that was then, and I was so sure of myself, or so I thought.

Life after high school was a different ball game altogether, with the cool and necessary Computer course being the first thing on my list. Once I was done and I had my certificate in hand, hata sijui niseme. I had no idea what to do next. I remember staying home just doing the household chores and not knowing what my future held in store.

Well, I won’t get into all the details but, the long and short of it is that I was guided into my life purpose albeit with some battlescars here and there. The main turning point in my life was when I found my voice, quite literally.

I was a very quiet child. I swear. I truly was. Ask my immediate family and childhood neighbours. My daily word count are not nearly an eighth of what I clock in by midday on a good day.

Then someone tried to frame young naive me, in a scam and when I got questioned for hours and having to travel from Nairobi to Nyeri, at night which was like the craziest thing  I could do (yes…crazy, coz way back when, as a young girl you were warned/ instructed to travel during the day. Nightime had its owners plus mobile phones were still a rumour.)

 That was the day I found my voice and there was no turning back.

To be continued





Lil Wayne captures my sentiments to a T when he rap-(idly sings)…“I think about more than I forget…’’ It is hoped that these very thoughts will be a guiding light at the end of the tunnel that won’t turn out to be a bullet train charging toward me. A myriad of thoughts pervade my mind so deeply that others have to cut corners in the race to my subconscious. Though once they make their presence felt they instantly get their free ride ticket back to the dark abyss they emerged from.

The winding road upon which my shadow falls offers no map. Each day is a knotty conundrum that eclipses the dilemma as to how the pyramids were built. Glimpses of hope pierce through the blanket of darkness that seems to enclose my very being. Life’s compass points me East but I go West like Kanye. Trying to make sense of every facet life has to offer is more painstaking than the infinite search for a needle in a hay stack which may not even be there in the first place. Which lady in her right mind would sew or repair anything while sitting on a haystack…the calamity of searching for a needle in that pile isn’t comforting on any level.

Trying to understand the intricate details of our very existence is as baffling as trying to make sense of the duck-rabbit optical illusion.


At one point you are sure you are looking at a duck, and then voila you suddenly realize that a rabbit is the object of your attention. But wait a minute…I can bet your kidneys that you are looking at a duck. It never ends…does it?! However if you have the cynical mind of a hunter…you will be like…WTH…either one will look good or taste delicious once served on the dinner table.

With the daily events that mark our every day existence, one of my main mottos is that “wonders never cease”! Take for example you spot a fine brother who would make for a “tall drink of whatever your choice of poison is”. You would expect him to easily make the cut for Step up3 dancers’ Kenyan edition…if ever… but the best he can do is ask if you’ve got “tichue” to wipe his “chues!!” Fast forward to a different scene where a geeky, bespectacled jamaa who you would not look at twice goes on and unleashes some eye-popping breaking and locking moves that words can’t describe.

While still on dance, I am sure a couple of us mere mortals try to imitate and duplicate the sensational moves that we have just witnessed on the big screen. It may be in front of the imaginary flat screen TV or the mirror. Either way with the firm belief that you can, you begin to shake what your mama gave you while dropping it low as you whip your hair…back and forth. While at it you decide why not jerk and do the shuffle…you know…unleash your own personal moves.

Knowing the true definition of pain doesn’t begin to encapsulate what will be coursing through your body. Worse still, in this day and age you have to be careful that whatever you do in your personal time does not become public fodder because someone else let their fingers do the walking…click…flash…upload photo/video. O.M.G or G.F.F won’t do you any good at such a time.

I bet by now you are baffled at what I am getting at.


Well I gave you an advance warning….that my thoughts are anything but organized. No one knows the way life goes. When you close your eyes you may not see your names in flashing lights like Bruno Mars but I believe everyone can tie up the loose ends in their lives and come out  with a certificate of greatness.

It all starts with…a leap of faith.


This was written way back in February, 2011.

I need to inhale whatever it was I was high on at the time. 😉